wierd dreams and indecisive hips!

i had the most bizarre dream last night!!

i was back in high school and in year 12 again. even though i was still 22 years old in the dream, it felt like i was doing year 12 for the first time in my life. what's odd, is that some of the people i recognized in the dream were actually a few years above me! so somehow in the dream they must of been doing year 14 or 15? hahaha!

i was making my way to the ladies toilets with ny following close behind me. we were both wearing our summer dresses. why i was wearing the school summer dress beats me since i retired from wearing skirts and dresses since the beginning of year 11. and so while making our way to the ladies, we had to barge into and disrupt a classroom (hence the familiar faces) because apparently it was the only way to get to the toilets .. which turned out to be located in a random office (yes, with carpet) near the princples office .. okay wierd.

surely there would of been a more convenient way to get to the toilets, but nope .. not in my dream! so finally ny and i got to the ladies room - inside an office - with carpet, and i was finally able to relieve myself (or so i thought). so as ny was primping herself in front of the mirror, i went to the toilet only to find the toilet seats too high for me to sit my behind on! give or take a few seconds, i find myself sitting on top of the toilet but finding it hard to 'let it flow' or so to say.

suddenly i hear loud footsteps and in stomps a loud asian woman talking in her native tongue to her friend on the walkie talkie. then all of a sudden, a mop appears in her hand and she's mopping away, cleaning the floors. but hold on, the room is furnished with carpet isn't it? well in dreams, anything is possible. so not surprisingly, the floors have miraculously transformed itself from the khaki green (eww such an appropriate colour for a toilet is it not?!) carpet, into off-white tiles!

but how did i know she was mopping, if i was apparently sitting in an absurdly high toilet seat in a cubicle with WALLS?! uh, telepathy i suppose? lol. and if you think that's wierd enough, how about this bit where i get hit in the head with what i thought was a basketball?! but no, it wasn't a basketball even though it felt like one. as i tilted my head back i realise that the mop (the same mop the lady was using to clean the carpet - turn - tiles) somehow, SOMEHOW landed on my head! and since anything is possible in dreams, she somehow managed to throw the mop at such an angle that it was able to go through the tiny gap between the cubicle walls and the ceiling, and onto my freakin head .. IN AN UPRIGHT POSITION TOO! how the hell could anyone manage to throw a freakin mop into a cubicle, only to find that it has landed on my head in a freakin upright position? pfft, only in dreams!!

and THEN what happens? .. and then i woke up! =)

don't i look like a rag doll? hehe

- - -

meanwhile, i am finding it hard to dress these days. it's a bit hard when all your pants (minus three) don't fit anymore! bah, i have no problem with gaining weight, but it is a pain in the arse not knowing what size i am (and will be), because the bottom half of my body can't seem to make up it's mind on what size it wants to be! i gained a few decent kgs, but somehow i think i have lost just a little bit of it now. a few weeks ago i was desperate enough to get myself a new pair of jeans. they fitted perfectly (if not a little snug!) back then .. and now? NOW? it's too loose. loose enough for me to rummage around for a long-enough piece of ribbon to hold up my jeans! damn youuuu thunder thighs!

i can't fit into those jeans anymore =(

see those jeans in the picture? that was the first time i wore them. unfortunately it was also the last time, as i haven't been able to get my fat arse back into it since. i tried again last night but to no avail. it was stuck halfway up my thighs. i was thinking that if i do all the jumping and wriggling then i might just be able to make it! but no, my thighs wouldn't let me! meeeeehh i like those jeans =( no fair! it's okay though, because i am not planning to lose this additional weight any time soon! it took months of binge eating to get to where i am today!

* disclaimer: yeah girls out there i know, you're probably thinking "is she nuts? what drugs is she on?!" sorry folks, the only drug i am on at the moment is panadol - to get rid of my head cold. i just don't like looking like a stick, especially at my height. i just want to be a little bit more plump but it's so annoying because for the first time in my life i know where my fat gets deposited! my thighs! diu, i wish my fat could disperse itself a bit more equally! not fair on my arms and torso you know .. pretty soon i'm gonna look like a gigantic oompa loompa!